Recently I’ve encountered this sort of behavior in several places, both personally and publicly, and it troubles me. No, it sickens me. Don’t we all have something better to do with our time? Here’s the public part of the story…
In one of the forums on which I regularly participate, there has been a raging debate as to whether or not there is a bias toward or against certain posters by the forum's moderators. As I have only posted on this forum for a few short months and am not entirely familiar with its history, I cannot say for certain, but I feel there probably are legitimate complaints in the mix. Here is an example of what may happen. One of the most prolific posters on the forum is a nice lady, if somewhat - well, gosh. I have to say that she's a little rabid in posting and expounding her beliefs. There is nothing wrong with defending your positions and ideals, but when you deliberately start flaming hot topics (such as that of abortion or the existence of God) with the sole purpose of entrapping a person who doesn't agree with you and then turning on them, that is a more than a little underhanded. It smacks of high school when the popular girls would pretend to be friends with the less than popular, turning against them at some pivotal, embarrassing point just to get a few laughs. I like the rabid poster, to a degree. I have corresponded with her privately, both about issues she has brought up and other things. Most of the time we are on the same side of issues, although I don’t agree with her style of debating her viewpoints. I don’t think she sees what she does as trying to start trouble, but more that she truly believes she is doing what is right. I know this because I've had other people like her turn to me after decimating someone for having a differing view and say "See, I told you. Wasn't I right?" Their righteousness is more important to them than humbling themselves to someone they have offended. They would rather know they were right than to consider there might be another opinion besides their own. If by some miracle they deign to concede they might have been wrong, they leave no doubt in the process by which they do so that they aren’t truly sorry for any damage they might have done. The person to whom the offense has been issued should have known what they meant to say in the first place, so once again, it really was all the other person’s fault. Just for the record, the lady I referenced above isn’t the only rabid poster on the forum. She is, though, the most prolific.
In any event, getting back on topic. While most of the moderators of this forum truly attempt to be neutral, some don't. The people like the rabid poster know this and take full advantage of it. They manage to slip in under the radar, phrasing their attacks just so that they don’t get warned, but still sliding that knife of betrayal into the ribs of their prey. The prey defends itself angrily and is slapped down by the biased moderators, causing the prey to defend itself in such a way that the neutral moderators have no choice but to intervene. As a result, the prey feels hammered upon without an outlet for which to voice its opinion, and the rabid poster feels triumphant, their confidence stronger that they will be able to start any topic and attack any dissenter with immunity.
Don’t get me wrong here - the prey isn’t always the innocent, injured party. Sometimes the prey is just as determined and underhanded as the rabid poster to get their jabs in, using whatever means they have at their disposal. They also play the game well, and in some cases seem to get as much a kick out of causing trouble as the rabid poster. When they could come back with a less aggressive, more tactful response, they post comments that they know will be inflammatory, and the thread is off and running, quickly devolving into a free-for-all. They do this in order to demonstrate just how biased the moderators must be, crying about unfair treatment when they accomplish exactly what they knew would happen. Brings us back to the “See, I told you so,” moment.
The end result of all this fighting is that the rabid poster and the prey both sit back from their keyboards, satisfied, gloating, happy to have caused turmoil, unable to see that they have caused possible irreparable damage to the forum. Visitors will only see that there is no respect for fellow posters, no intelligent discussion of relevant or irrelevant topics, and no reason to participate since, as their views fall along one side or another, they don’t want to be attacked personally like the others have been. The true prey, the ones who are attacked but not defended, whose voices ask for nothing more than fair treatment, are left sickened and saddened by not being defended, for being that unpopular kid whom everyone laughs at and no one comforts. They slink away to lick their wounds, coming back a little more cynical and bitter, if they come back at all.
If the topics on this forum were discussed in the “real world”, probably 75% of what gets said and the way it is said would never make it past a thought. Most of the posters, rabid and prey alike, would never approach strangers in public or private and attack their beliefs the way they do on the forum. It is one of the most freeing aspects of an internet-based community, and also one of the saddest.
The back-stabbing behavior does not stop at the borders of the community forum. No, it extends to social networking sites such as Facebook, MySpace and the like, perhaps allowing people to be more honest than they normally would be, not fully realizing that making their comments could hold repercussions. They either don’t expect the people they discuss to find out about their comments, or they don’t care. The internet has stripped away a layer of civility that most people didn’t realize was there - for better or worse. I know it is human behavior, but my question is this - why can’t we all just get along? If you don’t like someone, fine - don’t like them. Don’t associate with them. Don’t try to deliberately bait them, make them say something you can use against them. Don’t fall to that level. Don’t we all have better things to do than run around and be petty, saying hurtful things just to see what happens?
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